Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Letter

Dear Visitor,

Hey, those wreaths on our front doors? Nah, we didn't really need them, no seriously. I mean, the doors look fine all by themselves; that's how they look all year long anyway. Yea, it was a frivolous idea thinking we could spruce up our front by adding some yule greenery. Silly us.

And hey, I don't mind shopping the local church bazaars to find the wreaths, and then working with the Boy Scout troop to decorate them just so. It was a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon, so thanks for the warm memories there.

Best of all, I have plenty of time on my hands now. I won't have to waste time picking out the decorations for next year, tossing the wreaths and sweeping the pine needles off front stoop. You took care of that for me, thanks!

And oh, I'm sure you were just thinking it's all in the spirit of giving, that's why you decided to give yourself two custom decorated wreaths. I mean, why else would you trespass onto our property and just take these decorations off our doors?

Yea, so Merry Christmas, Visitor.

13 comments:

david kramer said...

Somebody stole your xmas decorations! that is terrible. I mean, I am a jew and pretty damaged about xmas, but THAT is going too far. DK

Samantha said...

No way that sucks. Randomness -- have you seen the yarn covered wreaths at Starbucks? Pretty cool.

Nettie said...

This sucks! I wish you could have walked up on them while they were doing it!

Matthew said...

I hope the grinch chokes on them.

erngrn said...

whoa!
thats crazy!!

Anonymous said...

wth?! I don't understand people, what happened to society?!

Sara said...

When we first moved to Brooklyn, Bryan couldn't fathom that people decorated their stoops and doors for holidays, and nothing went missing. This makes me sad...i hope all the pine needles dry out and fall off ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Who could be so crappy and heartless? That really sucks.

Eliza said...

ugh. When I was in high school someone took everyone's wreaths on our block for several years running. My father finally drilled a tiny hole through our front door and wired our wreath on. It worked.
Sorry it happened to you. It really sucks.

spajonas said...

oh my god, i hope the christmas wreaths burst into flames when they least expect it.

Daniel Yuhas said...

Stolen christmas decorations gives you the worst karma ever. You may find them again after the thief gets hit by a truck or falls into the gowanus canal.

When one of my best friends moved to Brooklyn from the west coast, her first big moment of culture shock was - oh my god, people lock the trash cans here!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that someone took your lovingly crafted wreaths! Sometimes Brooklyn is so warm and friendly and safe feeling and then this sort of thing happens...

The A.D.D. Knitter said...

Oh Lord, that is just pathetic. Sheesh!