Shopping Manifesto

To: The various chain stores I am forced to use to buy 'career' clothes (Ann Taylor, Talbot's, etc.)
From: Me, the fed-up shopper

1. Don't offer me a discount on your clothes only when I sign up for yet another credit card. I don't want your credit card. I want to pay cash. Why are you willing to give me a 15% discount only when I run up a debt? You should reward me for paying you cold hard cash. Cash goes straight to your bottom line. Cash is what pays your bills.

2. Why don't you ever have items in Size 10? You have plenty of items in Size 0 and Size 2. But never anything in Size 10. After repeating this mistake for a few seasons, do ya think you'd catch on - the Size 10s sell out because there are more Size 10 women. Maybe you should order MORE Size 10's and LESS Size 2. Whoa, what a concept.

3. NO, I don't want to be on your email list. No, I don't want to give you my Zip Code.

4. What's with the selection these days? Really few choices! Suits with only pants, no skirts. Or vice versa. Or outfits in just one color when there used to be at least three. Let's see a little variety and options. Mix and match options? Please?

5. Can't you find any other country on this planet to manufacture your goods? Does everything have to be Made in China?

6. Slacks should come up to just below the belly button. NOT ride on the hips. How do you expect me to sit down if the pants feel like they are falling off my ass?

7. Can you please find an alternative to the sewn in label? They poke the back of my neck and drive me batty. If you insist on sewing in a label, can you please use cotton thread not nylon fishing wire? You don't use nylon fishing line for the seams, and they are far more important to the garment's integrity. So why do you think you need to affix the label with such an indestructible thread?? Come to think of it, why are the labels so stiff and unyielding?

8. Clean, classic, well fitting with a unique twist. And doesn't cost an arm and a leg. How hard is that?